Rejoice and Sorrow

Jordan breaks into spurts of sadness when it hits her that her grandma isn’t with us anymore. The realization hits me each time I work online and stumble into a link she liked or a comment she left. I wish I had emailed her more, asked her to write more things. I wish I had emails and messages to give to the kids. I miss her.

We all missed her this weekend for the Easter holiday. We had a chance to return to the cemetery where my father-in-law had a beautiful gravestone made in her honor. It was a brief visit to bring flowers and admire her resting space. Jordan helped place the flowers and wanted to take her picture with the gravestone… But she was very careful to not step on the dirt that still shows where her grandma’s coffin was buried. She didn’t “want to step on Grandma.” Those little things are heartbreaking.

It’s hard to celebrate while you are in mourning… but having the kids around helps. Even better, I’m glad they gave their Poppy a reason to smile. This is so hard. But watching the kids dress up in their sweet outfits, handing out hugs and having fun competitively searching for eggs was very smile-worthy.

5 Comments

  1. Cyndi Kelly on April 12, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Hi Jen, having mourned a recent loss of my mother-in-law, I understand how difficult it can be. Especially, when your children were close to their grandmother. Thank goodness that you have each other to cry with and to share wonderful memories. I’m sure your father-in-law is also happy to have your family there for him. It is difficult to see your children mourn, be upset and know that there is nothing you can do to relieve their pain. It stinks, but it’s just part of the process. I’ll pray for strength for your family.
    We planted a tree in our backyard (the Grandma Trudy Tree) in honor of my mother-in-law. It bloomed earlier than any of our trees this year!
    Hang in there…….it will get easier,
    Cyndi Kelly

  2. Jen Lee Reeves on April 12, 2012 at 10:47 pm

    Thank you so much Cyndi. I was thinking about a tree… something special that we can watch grow in her honor.

  3. Julia Roberts on April 12, 2012 at 10:52 pm

    I love the tree idea for them to see it grow over the years…and maybe every year on her birthday you can honor her that way. Still thinking of y’all.

  4. Toni on April 13, 2012 at 7:18 am

    Such beautiful children 🙂

    Loss is so hard…I just lost my maternal grandmother last week. Granted, distance kept me from being extremely close to her in these later years, but am amazed at the memories that have flooded my mind over the past week. I celebrate the fact that she lived 89 years…but I mourn the loss of an era. It’s definitely a difficult balance to try and find. It’s so hard to watch the children hurt, but as they get older, they’ll understand and see themselves as fortunate to even have known her.

    *hugs*

    • Jen Lee Reeves on April 13, 2012 at 11:26 am

      Thank you Julia and Toni. I appreciate the support!!

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